Alright, enough beating around the bush. Maybe this is me starting to finally get back into writing in a big way.
Maybe it's not.
But screw it, it's a start.
Some of these posts that will be coming semi rapid-fire over the next few days are inspired by people and conversations that I'm having as I type this, so I'm going to try not to delve into what exactly is happening/leave the people involved out of it.
If you've read the older posts you may know that I feel an insatiable desire to be seen/heard. I can't really explain it (which you also know if you've read the older posts...I ramble).
But there's even a little more to it than that; I just want to be important in some bizarre way. I know that's amazingly selfish and I'll explain why it isn't in a moment, but it's selfish...and isn't that how we are? Aren't we all just living, breathing, egos? Don't we all perform better, feel better, act nicer if someone has made us feel good about ourselves? Why be ashamed of being selfish if your selfishness can turn into selflessness?
To connect the two points, I am selfish, yes. I want to be important to people. I want my friends to come to me when something important has happened so I can do something about it or be a part of their joy/pain. Even if you come to me with something that I can't imagine - a loved one's death (god forbid, of course) or something similarly tragic - I want to be able to do something about it. I won't bring anyone back from the dead (not that I can't, it just gives me the creeps), but maybe I can bring a smile to your face with some witty commentary.
I don't know if that's any type of revelation or anything, but it felt important when it hit me a few minutes ago. I'm extremely selfish in a selfless way.
But seriously, we're all just egos. Try that theory out. Compliment someone and they'll be nicer to you.
...actually, just compliment me.
Maybe it's not.
But screw it, it's a start.
Some of these posts that will be coming semi rapid-fire over the next few days are inspired by people and conversations that I'm having as I type this, so I'm going to try not to delve into what exactly is happening/leave the people involved out of it.
If you've read the older posts you may know that I feel an insatiable desire to be seen/heard. I can't really explain it (which you also know if you've read the older posts...I ramble).
But there's even a little more to it than that; I just want to be important in some bizarre way. I know that's amazingly selfish and I'll explain why it isn't in a moment, but it's selfish...and isn't that how we are? Aren't we all just living, breathing, egos? Don't we all perform better, feel better, act nicer if someone has made us feel good about ourselves? Why be ashamed of being selfish if your selfishness can turn into selflessness?
To connect the two points, I am selfish, yes. I want to be important to people. I want my friends to come to me when something important has happened so I can do something about it or be a part of their joy/pain. Even if you come to me with something that I can't imagine - a loved one's death (god forbid, of course) or something similarly tragic - I want to be able to do something about it. I won't bring anyone back from the dead (not that I can't, it just gives me the creeps), but maybe I can bring a smile to your face with some witty commentary.
I don't know if that's any type of revelation or anything, but it felt important when it hit me a few minutes ago. I'm extremely selfish in a selfless way.
But seriously, we're all just egos. Try that theory out. Compliment someone and they'll be nicer to you.
...actually, just compliment me.
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