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What's that place like?

My brother just went to Yosemite and he is about to experience a feeling that people who go on great trips get. It's the same feeling we got when we returned from living in Italy, or got back from our anniversary trip to Iceland.

Everyone wants to know - and lots of them genuinely want to know it, too - what was it like? What were your favorite parts? Was it over/under/properly rated? Tell me everything.

This, unfortunately, is a brutal set of questions to answer.

He sent me a text several days ago about having hiked up Nevada Falls. He said, "you would never believe some of the things we saw today," and "I'll tell you about it later, but nothing I say will equal the experience."

That's the feeling. While I obviously think that travel is an essential part of the human existence due to how it makes you feel about situations you're unfamiliar with (among about a million other reasons), travel is also a personal, intimate experience to have with yourself and/or your travel companion.

When he goes back to work he's going to try explaining to his coworkers what the trip was like. Inevitably, he'll just tail off after a few seconds and just shake his head saying "it was incredible..." and then try to hit some highlights. They'll feel a little like he's short-changing them, but it's through no fault of his own. By going someplace completely new and different, his perspective has changed in some way and he'll have a hard time explaining what was important to the people who are asking. The reason is that seeing these things isn't what makes traveling good; it's how you feel when you see or visit these things.

A personal example: A friend of mine just returned from visiting Milan for a week. He asked lots of questions and I gave way too much information about living/hanging out there. Of course there were things like "take the tour to the top of Duomo," but the one thing I couldn't shake was the feeling I still have about the last night we lived in Italy.

Jenna and I went to Castello Sforzesco, which is the medieval castle in the middle of Milan, after getting some gelato from nearby (surprise!). The sun was fading and while Castello Sforzesco wasn't necessarily our #1 favorite place in the city, it was a very pleasant place to be. After several minutes there, I took a couple of photos from the spot where we sat.


You'd be wrong if you said that was the most beautiful place or the most impressive/recognizable structure or the best photo we took while living abroad. 

However, pictured above is one of the moments that I'll remember and cherish the most. We were just sitting there, together, feeling the overpowering emotion of the end of our trip. We were enjoying the gelato, the scenery, and the company of each other. We almost certainly didn't say much of anything, we just took in everything we could. People walked by, talking on their phones or walking their dogs. Others biked by, while undoubtedly talking on their phones and gesturing with their hands. Others sat 100 feet away and may have felt the same things we felt.

I don't talk about that moment when people ask what it was like to live in Italy for almost a year - at first, they want to hear about how many places we visited and was it expensive and how did we make money and where did we live. I don't blame them. But these little moments, these "I can never explain this to someone else" moments, these "I can't believe I'm here, at this thing, with this person, in this moment, in this place" things...those are what traveling is for.

Of course, nobody asks when you get home "what did it feel like to stand at the top of Nevada Falls after you spent an hour climbing up from the floor of the valley? Did you wonder if that's how humans have felt over thousands of years as they found their way to that spot? Do you think maybe you could sit there for an entire afternoon, contemplating what is truly important in life and why our priorities as a society can be mixed up from time to time?"

They'll just ask "how was the trip?" And instead of answering the questions from the paragraph above, he'll probably smile and say "it was incredible..." and then tail off thinking about those answers.

Ultimately, to the friend who asked for some advice about Milan, I did suggest sitting near the castle around sunset. 

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