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Nothing

It's become a funny existence.
I wake up, I sit around, I catch up on Ninja Warrior, I eat, play video games, work out, watch the Cavs, and repeat.
In between I apply for jobs, don't hear back, sulk, laugh, make others laugh, read things, write things, listen to music and occasionally sell things on eBay for my grandmother.

But what am I doing?

There are few things that I know are certain, and one of them is that my parents are displeased that I don't have a job - particularly my dad. I can't say that I blame him, but the real problem is that he acts like I'm thrilled about not having a job. I've got a big job fair that the Cavaliers are hosting on the horizon, it's later this month, and I really am starting to put the majority of my proverbial eggs in that basket...problem is, though, that the basket has slippery handles.
I'm sick of not doing anything, but there's nothing to do. I can't keep asking people if they want to hire me when I know that they don't, nor can I invent something to do that hasn't been thought of before (to some extent, at least).
The agency thing appears to not be working out particularly well, and there's not much I can do about that either, which is a kick in the pants. It's not that I'm giving up on having dreams - I most certainly am not (I'll get back to this in a minute) - it's just that I need some money to make other dreams possible. Obviously, not a lot of great opportunities thrust themselves at you when you don't have money.
So then...I know people are working, because I'm the only one so bored. I know people are writing, because I read things. But I also know that there are people who have it much worse off than me. But cripes, this still sucks.
Someone hire me.



Back to the not giving up on dreams thing; every day that passes and I sit around not having a job, it makes me want to be bigger/better than I wanted the day before. I read a gripping interview with John Mayer today (it's been the talk of the internet, from what I can tell) from Playboy, and he touches on a lot of goofy subjects, fame being one of the big'uns. He mentions that there are major parts of it that are taxing on the mind, and that it's a struggle sometimes...and I still want it more than ever. Maybe I'm just twisted, maybe I've got issues*, maybe I'm not destined for anything at all...but I still want it.

* I used to have multiple personalities, but they all thought that the original me was a huge loser, so they left.

Comments

  1. i wouldnt feel to bad, cause i do the same thing everyday too, i wake up eat, get blamed for the job market by mother, play video games, sell video games for money, lose that money on stripers and cocaine, wake up in a pool of my vomit , rinse wash, repeat.... so dont feel to bad... well actually yeah feel bad cause it sucks
    -Chris Nibeert. i dont know if it puts my name up or what so i decided to put it there for you to see , so you can go "hey , thats chris nibert, i know taht because his name is right on it "

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