Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself (and Malaria)

There's a commonly used expression that says you should do something every day that scares you.
I'm not so sure that this is a safe practice because I don't have the money to do a lot of scary things like parachuting, alligator wrestling, heli-skiing, or asking someone to marry me (easily the scariest on the list). That leaves me with less expensive fear options like driving on the wrong side of the road, walking into the Crip neighborhood with Blood colors on, or what I did today; stand on the top of a really shaky ladder and paint a barn on a very windy day.
I realize that painting a barn isn't gonna get me the street cred that Coolio has, but I'll be damned if I didn't feel a gust of wind, wobble a little bit, feel my heart skip a beat, and then laugh about how awesome it was.
My point is this: How great is that feeling?
How cool is it to know that something could have gone horribly wrong, but it didn't? Does anything make you feel more alive than that?
I've created the theory that life-threatening and life-affirming are the same thing, just with a different attitude.
So maybe it wasn't the same thrill as jumping out of a moving car (Walter Sobchak style), and maybe I didn't actually get hurt and nothing went wrong at all...but it still got my adrenaline pumping.
What makes you afraid?
Big picture; I'm scared to not make it. I'm gonna take a huge shot in the fall after I save a butt-load of money this summer. I'm kicking around the idea of Second City comedy/improv classes. It's the route that has produced such weak-sauce names as Peter Boyle, Harold Ramis, John and Jim Belushi, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Mike Myers, Chris Farley, Steve Carrell/Colbert, and Tina Fey - just to name a few.
I may not go that route, but it would be in place of a similar route in a different place. Either way, I'll be doing something that's big-picture scary. Even so, I can't help but think that it's those little fear-inducing moments - and the proverbial moment of clarity that follows - that become very telling in who you are.

Or maybe I'm just a crazy person.
Doesn't matter. Just remember my face. You'll see it again.

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Living a Dream

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