Skip to main content

Inventions

As I sit here on my couch and watch the end of the Monday Night Football game (it's been a good one, fyi), I find myself struggling to successfully wrap myself in my blanket. I'm cold, but I need to figure out how to keep myself free to type while keeping the rest of myself warm.
And now I realize something.

THE SNUGGIE IS EFFING INCREDIBLE.

Go ahead and make fun of it. Goodness knows that I have. I've made fun of my mom a bunch of times for having one. I even got one of my own when they gave them out at Cavs games last year and made fun of myself for having it.

Occasionally I used it...and if the time was just right, and I really needed it...my god. That was a great invention.

That's really my whole thought.

I guess I'll move on and say that I actually got a job. It's part-time, but I may have gotten a 2nd one also. After routinely getting rejected from all kinds of jobs in all kinds of ways, I was walking past a shoe store near my house with a "help wanted" sign out front.

Yada yada yada, 66 hours later I was already at work. It's part-time, but it's exactly three minutes from my apartment - walking. That part is great.

Job #2 is renting apartments. A guy I know introduced me to it, and I haven't sold my soul to it yet, but if I have one part-time job and could conceivably get another way to make money...well, it seems like I should at least give it a shot, right? It's more complex than I'm letting on, but not drastically more complex. It seems like, if I put in some effort, I could turn it into a pretty good gig; some of the guys there do it full-time, some as supplemental income. Depends on who you are.

So that's going on.

And while these things are important, sure, there's a much more pressing issue.

I have mutton chops. I shaved them in for Halloween, and I instantly fell in love with them. I look positively ridiculous. People chuckle when they see me. It's tremendous.

That is all.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Excitement

Alright. This is going to get emotional, y'all. Get your tissues. This post is because my brother and sister-in-law are about to have their 2nd child. If we're friends on facebook, you've seen that my profile picture has been some incarnation of myself and their first child for the entire duration of her almost 3-year-long life. Simply, I love that child. But there's another one coming. I'm having that fear that I've been told parents have. The one thing I know for sure is how much I love the kid who already exists, and I don't know if I have the room in my emotional spectrum to unconditionally love another human the way I love the current one. I mean, I'm sure I will. How could I not, right? How could I not love something that's a sibling to this kid? As it stands now, I spend my time in Chicago and fielding questions from people back home about whether or not I'd ever move to NYC or LA (because they clearly know that I'm just...on ...

Being a Real Boy (or teacher, I guess)

Have you guys ever read The Odyssey? You probably have. It's long, Greek, and there are about 75000 names used in it over the course of seemingly a thousand pages. You might also remember it for things like Calypso, a whirlpool, Polyphemus the cyclops, Sirens, and various people being murdered for various things, not to mention the tail-end of the Trojan War being recounted within its pages. The reason it might sound familiar but not-that-familiar is that most people seem to be reading this book between the ages of about 12 and 16. This is one of the most loaded books in the history of ever, and it's complicated enough just to follow the plot (Homer, the author, invented the concept of in medias res , where the story begins in the middle and jumps around a bit through flashbacks and such, a style now known as "The Tarantino" or as "the way that one guy makes those weird movies with lots of violence"), let alone follow all the names involved, the historical...

The Best Laid Plans

I taught a Drama English class recently. I’m supposed to teach at least 10, maybe 20 of these classes, and I have to inform you that the class was worse than plague. The purpose of the class was a noble one: students would be taught English without really realizing that they were being taught English. They'd play, act things out, listen to instructions while being shown those instructions by me, they'd become characters, and they'd ultimately, hopefully, act out a short play based on a fairytale and their "interpretation" of a fairytale. Pretty tall hopes for a group of six year olds. But anyway, here's the gist. Teachers know that one kid can derail a group to an insane degree – group mind takes over and then things just completely devolve into chaos once one kid starts the ball rolling. I had that one kid, and his name is protected because I am trying to be a decent human being. First of all, this is a small class. I only have six students, ...