Whoa. They're bananas.
And if you think yours are bad or chaotic or the best or the worst, just know that someone out there probably has you beat. If you've been watching Maury for years, you know this already, but if you're under a rock and just kind of passing the time, let me tell you some tidbits about the kids I've met recently.
One family has four boys between the ages of six and nine. That's a nine-year-old, a seven-year-old, and twin six-year-olds. So mom and dad were thinking of trying one last time for a girl and got two boys. They are boys, which means they like to pound each other's faces and bodies at all times. It harkens to all of those adages about moms being the best or moms having the hardest jobs or blah blah blah. If it were that hard, how come like 3,000,000,000 people have that job?? (But seriously, that mom is a hero)
One family has two daughters, aged 11 and 14, who are clearly smarter than me. They speak four languages, read books non-stop in their spare time, are more professional, courteous, and just, iduno, more world-savvy than anyone you probably know (including a certain half-assed blogger who is galavanting/teaching around Europe).
One family has a top-5 ranked fencer in the Italian fencing rankings at age 13. He would've won nationals this year, by his own admission, if he had longer reach.
Another family has children under the age of six who can currently speak three languages.
Still another family has a kid who is so poorly-behaved that they can't hold a nanny for more than three months at a time.
Some kid in one of my school-classes has the habit of quite literally standing up and walking around the room for the entirety of the class-period. By this I mean the other-teacher has to literally sit next to him so that he's blocked in by her, the desk in front of him, and the desk behind him. On the occasion that she can't sit next to him, he will get up and wander, copying others' homework, being generally annoying, and trying to talk to me personally.
There are also some nice, normal, cute kids out there, so not all hope is lost. One little-sibling has been known to run up to me during a lesson and shout "Yes! Yes!" because it's the only English word he knows and he wants to impress the English teacher.
Kids are weird. They're fun, they're sometimes cute, they're usually very dirty, and you can lift them up over your head without getting in much trouble. They're kind of like pillows that talk.
Ooh, can you imagine if your pillow could talk? And someday grow to resent you, followed by learning to love you anew, and even more than before?
I'm guessing that's what parenthood is like.
And if you think yours are bad or chaotic or the best or the worst, just know that someone out there probably has you beat. If you've been watching Maury for years, you know this already, but if you're under a rock and just kind of passing the time, let me tell you some tidbits about the kids I've met recently.
One family has four boys between the ages of six and nine. That's a nine-year-old, a seven-year-old, and twin six-year-olds. So mom and dad were thinking of trying one last time for a girl and got two boys. They are boys, which means they like to pound each other's faces and bodies at all times. It harkens to all of those adages about moms being the best or moms having the hardest jobs or blah blah blah. If it were that hard, how come like 3,000,000,000 people have that job?? (But seriously, that mom is a hero)
One family has two daughters, aged 11 and 14, who are clearly smarter than me. They speak four languages, read books non-stop in their spare time, are more professional, courteous, and just, iduno, more world-savvy than anyone you probably know (including a certain half-assed blogger who is galavanting/teaching around Europe).
One family has a top-5 ranked fencer in the Italian fencing rankings at age 13. He would've won nationals this year, by his own admission, if he had longer reach.
Another family has children under the age of six who can currently speak three languages.
Still another family has a kid who is so poorly-behaved that they can't hold a nanny for more than three months at a time.
Some kid in one of my school-classes has the habit of quite literally standing up and walking around the room for the entirety of the class-period. By this I mean the other-teacher has to literally sit next to him so that he's blocked in by her, the desk in front of him, and the desk behind him. On the occasion that she can't sit next to him, he will get up and wander, copying others' homework, being generally annoying, and trying to talk to me personally.
There are also some nice, normal, cute kids out there, so not all hope is lost. One little-sibling has been known to run up to me during a lesson and shout "Yes! Yes!" because it's the only English word he knows and he wants to impress the English teacher.
Kids are weird. They're fun, they're sometimes cute, they're usually very dirty, and you can lift them up over your head without getting in much trouble. They're kind of like pillows that talk.
Ooh, can you imagine if your pillow could talk? And someday grow to resent you, followed by learning to love you anew, and even more than before?
I'm guessing that's what parenthood is like.
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