As a warning, I would've written this same thing before starting to teach, but it popped into my head today after a quick lesson with a youngster. Bear in mind that these lessons with kids are not as simple as they would be if we both spoke the same language, so the Italian-to-English hurdle surely gives rise to some less-than-ideal conditions for the kids, which makes them more apt to act out.
I have parenting advice. I mean, I have for a while, and I have lots of pieces, and I know that I won't be the perfect parent (although I'll be a hell of a lot better than some of the monsters I've come across in my life), and I'm not pretending to have all of the answers. I'm shooting for one big one right now.
Teach your effing kid to play fairly. If for no other reason than it preventing his or her English tutor from getting real pissy and writing a blog post immediately after a lesson.
This little kid is actually really adorable. The first fifteen minutes was as though we were family - we read a book together and he wanted to snuggle in real close (he's six, in case you're wondering, and he's tiny) to get a better look at the pictures. After that, it got a little less productive. It's Friday, so he's got energy, and Inter Milan has a big game tomorrow, so he's excited about that and wants to play some soccer with me while wearing his Inter hat.
Fine, I can use parts of this to help him hear English and I'll narrate throughout and blah blah blah English-sounds-in-his-brain. He makes up rules to the game as we go along so that no matter what, he is scoring more goals than me. I must get the ball into a shoebox sized goal behind him, whereas if he puts it on an entire wall, it counts for him. That's bullshit. I don't care how old you are.
But I let that one slide, I swear. I'm only angry about it now because, seriously, I was winning like 28-5 and this little butthole is telling me that it's 5-4 and he's winning. I don't take kindly to that.
So then we play Memory, aka the best game ever, aka the game that I could beat my parents at from a young age*, aka the fail-safe for any kid in any lesson when you need to pass a little time.
What happens? He starts flipping over like 5 cards at a time, half-looking each time he turns one, just to see if it's the right one, then says "no no no...." and check another card. I can assure you that I never would've gotten away with that garbage as a kid, and once someone tries to get away with it against me, it becomes my sole purpose to absolutely demolish that kid in this game. It's personal.
I normally win round one against whoever I'm playing, but then I let them have game two if they're a decent kid. This was different. Despite the cheating, I went on a tear. I'm not saying I slapped cards out of his hands when he tried to cheat, but I'm not saying I didn't either, ya know? Fair is fair, and he was playing unfairly.
Anyway, here's my point. Teach your kid to play fairly, because if he would've played fairly, he would've won. And kids like winning. The problem is that adults don't like being cheated.
And if anyone wants to play memory. I'm waiting. And I will crush you.
*You can ask my parents about this. I was always abnormally good at memory. And my parents - at least my dad for sure - never once let me win at anything, and I applaud him endlessly for it. What is gained from being allowed to win whenever? My dad would give me an ample head-start/lead/whatever would make the fight fair, and then he would try to beat me. If we were playing basketball to ten, he'd give me 8 and then play with the intention of winning. Sure, he probably took it easy once or twice, but there was no letting-a-kid-win, and there should not be. I'll step off my soapbox now, but probably not for long.
I have parenting advice. I mean, I have for a while, and I have lots of pieces, and I know that I won't be the perfect parent (although I'll be a hell of a lot better than some of the monsters I've come across in my life), and I'm not pretending to have all of the answers. I'm shooting for one big one right now.
Teach your effing kid to play fairly. If for no other reason than it preventing his or her English tutor from getting real pissy and writing a blog post immediately after a lesson.
This little kid is actually really adorable. The first fifteen minutes was as though we were family - we read a book together and he wanted to snuggle in real close (he's six, in case you're wondering, and he's tiny) to get a better look at the pictures. After that, it got a little less productive. It's Friday, so he's got energy, and Inter Milan has a big game tomorrow, so he's excited about that and wants to play some soccer with me while wearing his Inter hat.
Fine, I can use parts of this to help him hear English and I'll narrate throughout and blah blah blah English-sounds-in-his-brain. He makes up rules to the game as we go along so that no matter what, he is scoring more goals than me. I must get the ball into a shoebox sized goal behind him, whereas if he puts it on an entire wall, it counts for him. That's bullshit. I don't care how old you are.
But I let that one slide, I swear. I'm only angry about it now because, seriously, I was winning like 28-5 and this little butthole is telling me that it's 5-4 and he's winning. I don't take kindly to that.
So then we play Memory, aka the best game ever, aka the game that I could beat my parents at from a young age*, aka the fail-safe for any kid in any lesson when you need to pass a little time.
What happens? He starts flipping over like 5 cards at a time, half-looking each time he turns one, just to see if it's the right one, then says "no no no...." and check another card. I can assure you that I never would've gotten away with that garbage as a kid, and once someone tries to get away with it against me, it becomes my sole purpose to absolutely demolish that kid in this game. It's personal.
I normally win round one against whoever I'm playing, but then I let them have game two if they're a decent kid. This was different. Despite the cheating, I went on a tear. I'm not saying I slapped cards out of his hands when he tried to cheat, but I'm not saying I didn't either, ya know? Fair is fair, and he was playing unfairly.
Anyway, here's my point. Teach your kid to play fairly, because if he would've played fairly, he would've won. And kids like winning. The problem is that adults don't like being cheated.
And if anyone wants to play memory. I'm waiting. And I will crush you.
*You can ask my parents about this. I was always abnormally good at memory. And my parents - at least my dad for sure - never once let me win at anything, and I applaud him endlessly for it. What is gained from being allowed to win whenever? My dad would give me an ample head-start/lead/whatever would make the fight fair, and then he would try to beat me. If we were playing basketball to ten, he'd give me 8 and then play with the intention of winning. Sure, he probably took it easy once or twice, but there was no letting-a-kid-win, and there should not be. I'll step off my soapbox now, but probably not for long.
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