Skip to main content

Driving is Terrible

This past weekend we had the good fortune of being able to rent a car near Milan and to drive around northern and central Italy and see some beautiful things.

This post will not be about those beautiful places.

This post will be me at my angry-old-man-est because driving in Italy is one of the most maddening things I've ever done.

In the USofA, we like to think that the left lane is the passing lane on the highway and the right lanes are for slower traffic, right? In Europe, the passing lane is the place you get killed if you drive less than 130 mp/h. You might think I'm exaggerating, I am not.

- Near the highway we took is the high-speed rail that goes from Milan to Rome. We've traveled on this train and it averages about 250 km/h. There were plenty of cars who passed us at the same speeds as the train was passing. I'll save you the math and say that 250 km/h is 155 mp/h. If a cop saw you going that fast, they would never be able to catch you.

- The typical way it works is that if you drive in the middle lane at or near the speed limit, a car will fly up behind you at an unsafe speed. They will then get less than 15 feet from your bumper, drift into the left lane (but not fully - never fully into the other lane), and then pass you, returning fully to your lane less than 15 feet from your front bumper.

This happens at roughly 90 miles per hour. Regularly.

- If you're in the left lane and passing someone, a car hundreds of yards behind you will flash their lights at you because they're going roughly 140 mp/h and will lose their mind if you don't get out of their way so they can continue driving at ungodly speeds and (hopefully) crash into a tree to punish them for being goddamn morons.

- As an added bonus, the main highway is a toll road. Normal, right? Chicago to Cleveland is about 300 miles on a toll road and it runs about $20. Milan to Florence is about 180 miles and it runs about 35 euros - nearly $50.

- Know how blinkers work? That makes you better than most Italian drivers. In the exceedingly rare event that someone *does* use a blinker, they'll leave it on for miles.

- This one is up for debate as far as what's "ok," but the number of people who've pulled off to the side of the road and are peeing is really impressive.

- From a website giving tips on driving in Italy: "Italian drivers are fast, aggressive and skilful. Lane hopping and late braking are the norm and it's not uncommon to see cars tailgating at 130km/h. Don't expect people to slow down for you or let you out." There are more tips that are very similar.

If you want to know more, this is a rough guide that will help you out: https://jerrygarrett.wordpress.com/2011/02/25/ten-tips-for-americans-driving-in-italy/

Realistically, it's not all bad. You do get moments where you've just trekked up a mountain on some winding road and can see dozens of miles and then you get to feeling pretty good about yourself. But if you happened to do this while another car was near you, they will try to murder you for being so audacious as to look at the world around you.

La dolce vita, indeed.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I Have to Write about Basketball

I have about an hour to write out my thoughts about the NBA Finals since I didn't want to at 1 a.m. and I have to be at work soon (and I'll be there for a longer-than-normal day). So here goes. 1) Everyone wants to talk about Steph Curry, and everyone should  be talking about Steph Curry. I don't get it. He's the best shooter in NBA history - although Klay Thompson is hot on his heels - and yet there's something amiss at surprising times. I don't believe in "clutch" the way a lot of people do, because if Steph doesn't hit a million threes all the time, the Warriors are never in position for him to take a game-winner in the Finals (they also don't make the Finals). All of them are worth three points, so they need the first one as much as they need the last one. But something kind of happens, doesn't it? And doesn't it affect his legacy a tiny bit? Steph shot 34.3% on three-pointers this series. Toronto was all over  him defensivel

Vienna Christmas, part 1

When I last left you, the two Koniecznys were about to arrive and we were going to do...well, something. And a week later we were all going to Vienna for Christmas to see some of my family members who live there (one of them is Norbert, who you might remember from canyoning). Carly and her mom got in on Sunday and we just kinda hung out the first day or two, but they wanted to see the sights and took off to see some nearby things and places, which is something they might tell you about if they were blogging but I don't think they are. Anyway, the real excitement started at the end of the week. Carly and her mom took an overnight train to Vienna on Thursday/Friday and Jenna and I had to wait until Saturday to go. We took a two-layover train; once in Verona to turn to the north and then a second stop in Innsbruck to switch onto an Austrian (OBB) train that would swoop through southeastern Germany en route to Vienna. It was a nearly 12 hour day of trains and, believe it or not, it

1000 Words a Day, Day 15: This has been a hell of a week

Boy, it's been tough to catch my breath this week. This week saw a LOT of words go to NBA articles of mine. Two ended up getting published - this one and this one - and a third one hasn't yet seen the light of day because it needs to be reconfigured after the NBA trade deadline. The three of them were about 4500 words total, so that's something. Additionally, we've been dog-sitting for a german shepherd who spent her first 18 hours in our home strengthening every negative connotation I had of german shepherds. She effectively didn't stop whining even once the first night, while also occasionally barking like a lunatic and keeping us up all night. She's also super-high energy, which is fine if you're not used to having a dog that's part dog and part ottoman, like this angel. At any rate, the week has turned into waking up earlier than normal, throwing a ball 20x in the backyard, going for a 2+ mile walk, throwing the ball again as soon as I get