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A Man Of My Word

I planned on writing a poem to a complete stranger who happened to be my 100th follower. Instead, I'm now going to write a poem to Mike Eppich ( @Mike_Eppich on Twitter). Mike came in as my 100th follower. On the one hand, that's fun...on the other hand, he was my 40th (ish) follower who then decided to unfollow me in hopes of becoming my 100th follower and recipient of said poem.
The shame is that it actually worked.
The reason I have such a 'tude toward this character is because I played baseball with him for a couple years and have kept in very close touch with him ever since.

He specifically requested that I do not write a haiku for him.
So here's a haiku for him.

Mike just quit his job
He probably sucked at it
'Cause Mike Eppich sucks.

So that's a start. But I feel like that's a total cop-out.

Check out @Mike_Eppich and you can read his little bio,
It's where he uses ellipses to fake some James Bond style.
It falsely claims he works and sells uniform services
But I'm pretty sure he spends his time crying from nervousness
About the match.com profile he fools around on -
He's nervous that we know he's looking for a guy to pound on.
It's not that he's a bad guy, he's just fun to rag,
But that's too easy to rhyme so it seems we've hit a snag.
Instead of coming up with something new to add
I'd like to stop this poem before it becomes plain bad
To read. I hope this poem has been fun or something like
It. I needed a visual rhyme here so I could end with Mike.


That was a relative struggle.
Fun though.
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