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A Short Story

Ever have one of those days when you wake up and something is a little bit off? Maybe the blanket has bunched up around your knees, maybe the alarm clock didn't go off, or maybe the person you thought you were sleeping next to is already awake and in the bathroom...or doesn't exist. Whatever it is, the day just starts wrong.

Ever have one of those days when it gets worse? Maybe you're out of cereal, maybe you miss the train by 30 seconds and end up late for work, maybe someone spills coffee on you - if you'd made it onto the first train you probably wouldn't have had a stranger with coffee right next to you, so this is technically your fault. So things get worse.

So work starts and you suddenly realize you forgot about a presentation you were going to give and have to scramble to piece it together. It doesn't go well, and the proof is when your boss gives you a resigned *sigh* instead of a congratulatory handshake before walking out of the room. You need a nice lunch to make up for it, but your favorite place is booked and there's a coffee stain on your jacket anyway, so you'd feel like a pile of trash if you walked in.

But the afternoon is calling, and this time machine you're on is traveling at a speed of one second per second toward the end of the workday. Unfortunately, it's one of those days. Rude clients, angry clients, coworkers who want to tell stories about their children despite the fact that you're their age and unmarried with no children - they all have conspired against you today. One of them goes so far as to poke the bear and ask questions about why you're not married, why you have no kids, and when you're going to settle down. It doesn't help your mood.

Your uncle has been sick for a couple of weeks and he's not getting any better. He constantly has drool coming out of the right side of his mouth and you don't want to say anything because you don't want to embarrass him, but the sight of it makes you gag every single time you see him, and you're due for a visit. It's not your fault that it bothers you, but it does, and even though it's not your fault, it makes you an asshole.

There's a storm as you're leaving work, so waiting for the train is not much fun. Other people have umbrellas, but yours is in the house - in your morning haste you forgot to check the weather. This is part of your day that everything has gone wrong. The hospital where your uncle is staying is full of people who stare at you for being the only idiot to walk in without an umbrella, and your jacket looked much cooler when it was dry than it does now. You probably should've brought flowers or something - at least they'd be something to look at instead of the drool - but you forgot those too.

As luck would have it, your uncle has just fallen asleep - drool peacefully connecting his lip to his left shoulder, glistening like a stalactite. You're free to go, in what might be a minor victory, even though it took you an hour to get here and will now take 45 minutes in a different direction to get home.

On the train home you're struck with what is undoubtedly the most optimistic thought you've had all day.

AT LEAST I DIDN'T JUST GO TO THE DENTIST FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SEVERAL YEARS AND HAVE THEM ANNIHILATE MY TEETH WITH A WATER-PICK TO THE POINT THAT I LIE IN THE RECLINED-CHAIR AND SWEAT UNCONTROLLABLY DUE TO THE DISCOMFORT AND PAIN. I WOULD NEVER WISH THAT HELL ON ANYONE. 

Suddenly this day turned out OK.

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