Part of the experience of blogging is to let the reader into the mind of the writer. Frankly, this is part of the experience of reading/writing at any level, but at the blog-level it feels a little more personal. With that in mind, I have some confessions that I really need to get off my chest.
1) I have never seen a Star Wars movie and I have no real intention of seeing them. If I would see any, it would be the old ones, largely because of this photo. I don't like CGI in movies and I feel like I've come far enough without seeing Star Wars that there's no point in starting at the ripe old age of 29. Related, there are lots of movies that are on everyone's list that I've never seen: Godfather and Scarface come to mind first, and I haven't seen an Indiana Jones since early childhood so I don't even know if that counts. The thing is, you're not allowed to judge me on this because I've been busy with being alive and choosing to watch other things that I don't need to commit several days to. I don't get mad at you for having not watched all of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt because I understand that there's too much out there to consume, so we can't see it all.
I also just probably don't trust your opinion, especially if you're reading something that an idiot like me would write.
2) Roller coasters make me sick. I didn't ride one for about 20 years because they made me sick as a little kid, and then I rode one in Disney World (Animal Kingdom) about 5 years ago. It was a day-ruiner. Yes, it might've been because I was in the back-car and that's awful, or it might've just been that I don't like roller coasters because they make me sick. I want to like them, I just don't. Sorry to everyone who ever goes to an amusement park with me. I'll be at the twisty-turny water-slides if you need me, or maybe just eating a lot of stuff.
3) I have never been in a freestyle rap battle/fight. I know these don't seem similar, but they totally are. Both are things where your adrenaline takes over and you have to prove your worth against another human being. Both are major plot-points in movies starring rappers (and if you can't think of at least one of each, we're not friends anymore). Both are shown as drawing crowds of innocent bystanders. Both are full of vitriol and aggression after they're over. And I've never really done either. The closest I've come to getting in a fight was when the Cirinos were in Chicago and Paul had been dancing with someone's girlfriend and then that guy threatened to grab one of his friends and go fight Paul. I was ready to join, but those guys backed out. That's it. Although I think I got in a fight with Tommy Bajzel in 5th grade at recess once. I hope I won.
Weirdly I haven't been anywhere near a freestyle battle. Might need to address some things in my life.
4) One of my greatest desires is to see a bear. I don't know why I want to see a bear so badly, but I do. I'd much rather it be a grizzly out west/north than a little black bear that runs around Ohio and looks like a faster Newfoundland. I want it so badly. Everywhere we go I wonder/hope/think about seeing a bear. I feel like I could be friends with a bear. It could stand up on its hind legs and lean against me and probably lick my whole head all at once and we'd hug and be friends forever. I realize this probably wouldn't happen in the wild, but a guy can dream. And now that we're on the subject, I'd trade a bear for a moose, because those things are laughably huge. (Related, hunting for sport is disgusting and I think less of those of you who do it. If you wrestle a moose to the ground with your hands for sport, I'll be impressed. I won't understand why, but I'll at least be impressed. Using a device whose sole purpose is to kill things and successfully killing something that never had a chance? You must be so proud.)
5) I can almost never remember the capital of Virginia. I like geography but I'm not very good at state capitals - I might even be able to name more national capitals than state capitals.
7) I cannot count to six.
You're welcome, world. You've taken a peek inside my brain once again, exposing some of my deepest, darkest secrets. Feel free to share some of your confessions with me. It'll be like Taxicab Confessionals on HBO except (hopefully) not a terrible TV show.
1) I have never seen a Star Wars movie and I have no real intention of seeing them. If I would see any, it would be the old ones, largely because of this photo. I don't like CGI in movies and I feel like I've come far enough without seeing Star Wars that there's no point in starting at the ripe old age of 29. Related, there are lots of movies that are on everyone's list that I've never seen: Godfather and Scarface come to mind first, and I haven't seen an Indiana Jones since early childhood so I don't even know if that counts. The thing is, you're not allowed to judge me on this because I've been busy with being alive and choosing to watch other things that I don't need to commit several days to. I don't get mad at you for having not watched all of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt because I understand that there's too much out there to consume, so we can't see it all.
I also just probably don't trust your opinion, especially if you're reading something that an idiot like me would write.
2) Roller coasters make me sick. I didn't ride one for about 20 years because they made me sick as a little kid, and then I rode one in Disney World (Animal Kingdom) about 5 years ago. It was a day-ruiner. Yes, it might've been because I was in the back-car and that's awful, or it might've just been that I don't like roller coasters because they make me sick. I want to like them, I just don't. Sorry to everyone who ever goes to an amusement park with me. I'll be at the twisty-turny water-slides if you need me, or maybe just eating a lot of stuff.
3) I have never been in a freestyle rap battle/fight. I know these don't seem similar, but they totally are. Both are things where your adrenaline takes over and you have to prove your worth against another human being. Both are major plot-points in movies starring rappers (and if you can't think of at least one of each, we're not friends anymore). Both are shown as drawing crowds of innocent bystanders. Both are full of vitriol and aggression after they're over. And I've never really done either. The closest I've come to getting in a fight was when the Cirinos were in Chicago and Paul had been dancing with someone's girlfriend and then that guy threatened to grab one of his friends and go fight Paul. I was ready to join, but those guys backed out. That's it. Although I think I got in a fight with Tommy Bajzel in 5th grade at recess once. I hope I won.
Weirdly I haven't been anywhere near a freestyle battle. Might need to address some things in my life.
4) One of my greatest desires is to see a bear. I don't know why I want to see a bear so badly, but I do. I'd much rather it be a grizzly out west/north than a little black bear that runs around Ohio and looks like a faster Newfoundland. I want it so badly. Everywhere we go I wonder/hope/think about seeing a bear. I feel like I could be friends with a bear. It could stand up on its hind legs and lean against me and probably lick my whole head all at once and we'd hug and be friends forever. I realize this probably wouldn't happen in the wild, but a guy can dream. And now that we're on the subject, I'd trade a bear for a moose, because those things are laughably huge. (Related, hunting for sport is disgusting and I think less of those of you who do it. If you wrestle a moose to the ground with your hands for sport, I'll be impressed. I won't understand why, but I'll at least be impressed. Using a device whose sole purpose is to kill things and successfully killing something that never had a chance? You must be so proud.)
5) I can almost never remember the capital of Virginia. I like geography but I'm not very good at state capitals - I might even be able to name more national capitals than state capitals.
7) I cannot count to six.
You're welcome, world. You've taken a peek inside my brain once again, exposing some of my deepest, darkest secrets. Feel free to share some of your confessions with me. It'll be like Taxicab Confessionals on HBO except (hopefully) not a terrible TV show.
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