Having been married for WELL OVER a month now (33 days), I'm pretty sure I'm qualified to tell the lessons I've learned and give unending marriage advice. I am, after all, almost halfway to Kim Kardashian's wedding-length with Kris Humphries.
Lesson number 1: Saying the H and W words is different.
It's always weird to switch titles in a relationship. It takes a minute to get used to saying "girlfriend" and then takes some extra time to get used to saying "fiancee" but neither of those shake a stick at the weirdness of saying "wife." This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it's a thing. Both of us have felt this and we're pretty well confused about how it's making us feel - it's anxiety-inducing, possibly because it's a forever word. In any case, it's taking some adjustment-time, and we haven't quite gotten over it yet.
Lesson number 2: Getting gelato for your reception is the best thing you can ever do.
This one doesn't need much explaining, but we got gelato for our wedding and got about 5 gallons of it. Of course, we got a ton of other food and that meant that gelato was one of the key leftovers. I don't think any of the five flavors we got were more than halfway-eaten by the time the reception ended, and they made their way to my parents' house before we commandeered them for our own freezer. Over a month later, we're almost through the remaining 15 pounds of gelato that we saved (two of the buckets - and they were buckets - went to our neighbors because they weren't our favorite flavors). Learning how to properly make a gelato-shake with your new-from-the-registry blender is one of married life's great joys.
Lesson number 3: It takes a really long time to get used to sharing a bed.
Maybe just a personal item here, but after living together for almost a year before the wedding, I am still learning that I hate pillows, I hate blankets, and I cannot learn how to sleep. We don't share blankets because one of us (go ahead and guess who) is really good at stealing blankets in the middle of the night and prefers her (dead giveaway on which one of us I'm referring to) one blanket that she's had for years whereas I need one-leg in the open-air of the room. But when you're using a queen-size comforter and only get half the bed to use it on...god I'm impossible. Good luck with this one, losers.
Lesson number 4: Maybe don't pile everything complicated in your life into a 4 months stretch? Or do. Your call
We returned to the USofA exactly 4 months before we would get married. In the meantime we half-moved into my parents house for a couple weeks, then moved into a new apartment, then got jobs that didn't start for a while, then hosted people on AirBnB, all while planning a wedding and honeymoon. This was stressful. On the other hand, there's not much left to stress about, so maybe this was the perfect plan? Jury's out.
Lesson number 5: There's post-wedding withdrawal.
For all of those reasons in #4, once the wedding is over, it feels weird to realize you don't know what to use your time thinking about. Hopefully, during this time, you realize/remember that you really like each other, because it's just you two now, and maybe your fat dog and his tremendous farts.
So there you have it. Everything you could ever want to know about marriage and wedding-stuff from a full-blown expert on the matter. I'm happy to take speaking engagements, if the price is right.
Lesson number 1: Saying the H and W words is different.
It's always weird to switch titles in a relationship. It takes a minute to get used to saying "girlfriend" and then takes some extra time to get used to saying "fiancee" but neither of those shake a stick at the weirdness of saying "wife." This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it's a thing. Both of us have felt this and we're pretty well confused about how it's making us feel - it's anxiety-inducing, possibly because it's a forever word. In any case, it's taking some adjustment-time, and we haven't quite gotten over it yet.
Lesson number 2: Getting gelato for your reception is the best thing you can ever do.
This one doesn't need much explaining, but we got gelato for our wedding and got about 5 gallons of it. Of course, we got a ton of other food and that meant that gelato was one of the key leftovers. I don't think any of the five flavors we got were more than halfway-eaten by the time the reception ended, and they made their way to my parents' house before we commandeered them for our own freezer. Over a month later, we're almost through the remaining 15 pounds of gelato that we saved (two of the buckets - and they were buckets - went to our neighbors because they weren't our favorite flavors). Learning how to properly make a gelato-shake with your new-from-the-registry blender is one of married life's great joys.
Lesson number 3: It takes a really long time to get used to sharing a bed.
Maybe just a personal item here, but after living together for almost a year before the wedding, I am still learning that I hate pillows, I hate blankets, and I cannot learn how to sleep. We don't share blankets because one of us (go ahead and guess who) is really good at stealing blankets in the middle of the night and prefers her (dead giveaway on which one of us I'm referring to) one blanket that she's had for years whereas I need one-leg in the open-air of the room. But when you're using a queen-size comforter and only get half the bed to use it on...god I'm impossible. Good luck with this one, losers.
Lesson number 4: Maybe don't pile everything complicated in your life into a 4 months stretch? Or do. Your call
We returned to the USofA exactly 4 months before we would get married. In the meantime we half-moved into my parents house for a couple weeks, then moved into a new apartment, then got jobs that didn't start for a while, then hosted people on AirBnB, all while planning a wedding and honeymoon. This was stressful. On the other hand, there's not much left to stress about, so maybe this was the perfect plan? Jury's out.
Lesson number 5: There's post-wedding withdrawal.
For all of those reasons in #4, once the wedding is over, it feels weird to realize you don't know what to use your time thinking about. Hopefully, during this time, you realize/remember that you really like each other, because it's just you two now, and maybe your fat dog and his tremendous farts.
So there you have it. Everything you could ever want to know about marriage and wedding-stuff from a full-blown expert on the matter. I'm happy to take speaking engagements, if the price is right.
The gelato was delicious
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